why things sometimes suck

Each Month, I Answer the Call to Speak from Someplace Deeper in Me,
To Someplace Deeper in You.

ihavenowords

a question

Dear Anna,

I’ve been trying to keep a stiff upper lip and forge on, but the truth is, it feels like everything sucks. Isn’t it fake of me to pretend it doesn’t? But it seems like no one wants to hear it anymore, including me. Everything sucks and I’m sick of feeling this way. Why is this so hard? What have you got?

— Dave C., a.k.a. Mr. Suck

a response from someplace deeper

Dear Mr. Suck (also known as Dave),

It sucks when everything sucks. It sucks, in a totally suck-sucky way. I feel like I might win a literary award for those previous two sentences. But I probably won’t. Because everything sucks.

It’s actually unusual (and noteworthy) of you to write to me during a time when everything sucks. Most people don’t do that. They lash out (myself included) or retreat (myself included)twisting themselves into a cruel version of themselves OR morphing into someone unreachable.

So kudos to you for already being centered enough within your suckage to reach out and ask for a little help. Here’s a little help. I’ll give ya everything I’ve got, which all boils down to one tiny little conversation I had two weeks ago with my dad, the one and only Bill Huckabee, who is…no longer alive. Continue reading

mothering on the inside

Each Month, I Answer the Call to Speak from Someplace Deeper in Me,
To Someplace Deeper in You.

parts in a circle

a question

Dear Anna,

What is the “Anna Huckabee Tull” take on Mother’s Day? What are we celebrating? And what are we missing?

— Curious

a response from someplace deeper

Dear Curious,

I have been finding myself talking about this Blog lately as sort of a “Dear-Abby-but Deeper.” By that I mean: Taking the extra moment and the extra breath to look not just at the LOGISTICAL Level of a question or idea, but to look deeper, at the ESSENCE Level of it as well. I think that’s what you’re asking for, so that’s where I am headed. But humor me for a moment. Let’s start up on the surface. It’s where most of us are, most of the time, and it can be a good place from which to start breathing more purposefully and inviting our perspective to deepen.

Continue reading

10 well-inserted spaces

Each Month, I Answer the Call to Speak from Someplace Deeper in Me,
To Someplace Deeper in You.

a question

Dear Anna,

My question is: Where has the sweetness gone?
Life should feel sweet. When I was falling in love, it felt sweet. When I had a new baby, it felt sweet. And every once in awhile it still feels sweet. But sweetness these days mostly feels distant, rare and fleeting. Why is there not more sweetness in my life, and how can I get more of it?

— Alexandra B.

a response from someplace deeper

Dear Alexandra,

I used to think sweetness—that feeling of deep peace, connection, and easy joy—was a function of either working really hard to create it, or else the kind of blind luck that shows up unexpectedly from out of nowhere, and then retreats, as unexpectedly, soon after.

These days I don’t think it is either of those things.

Continue reading

the speed of joy

Each Month, I Answer the Call to Speak from Someplace Deeper in Me,
To Someplace Deeper in You.

smiley

a question

Dear Anna,

I am moving soooo fast these days but it feels like I’m barely able to keep up. My list is long and my nerves are short. I’m showing up late to things, squeaking by on deadlines, and dropping balls all over the place. I feel anxious, hyped up, and overwhelmed a lot of the time. And then? When I DO  “slow down,” instead of taking a nap or getting a good night’s sleep, I find myself glued to a screen, watching episode after episode of something that’s too mindless to really challenge me, but too absorbing to turn away from. What am I missing here? Why are things so “off?”

— Lorraine M.

a response from someplace deeper

Dear Lorraine,

So here’s a weird question for you: What if that frenetic speed is actually PERFECT? What if the speed you are moving at right now—that frantic, hyped-up, overwhelmed, making-mistakes-everywhere speed—is actually providing something really important to you that you have no other way of getting?

Continue reading

Welcome!

Each Month, I Answer the Call to Speak from Someplace Deeper in Me,
To Someplace Deeper in You.

road

Welcome to the Living the Deeper YES blog

Here I hope you will find a deeper exhale.

It’s a safe place to stop and consider that the challenges that show up on the surface of our lives CAN be doorways inward, to bring us to a more profound way of understanding the beauty and wonder that is within us and all around us, all the time, if only we will dare to really look.

In 2016, I lost a close friend, Marie Pechet. She was a rare breed of cancer patient: the kind who decided to keep finding the beauty, and who, through that purposeful search-and-discovery, outlived her 12-month life expectancy and instead stayed, parenting, partnering, loving, blogging and touching hearts on this planet for nine amazing years.

As she approached her final days, she asked me if I would write her last blog entry, after she was gone. I told her I’d be honored, but what I’d really love to do was to compose twelve entries. I felt called to compose one for each of the twelve months of that first year after her death, because I could sense that her extensive community–and I–could benefit from a chance to grieve and grapple together instead of apart. She was touched, gave me her blessing to blog in her honor, and I embarked on a year of stopping twelve times to feel, to ponder, and to write from the heart, to a truly lovely and extensive collection of Marie’s fans, family, and followers.

Continue reading